"Fresh seasonal microgreens, yes?"...

Whoever delivers the line "Pizzas?" as the cockroach delivery boy trying to get in the house on the Orkin exterminator commercial is genius

People who incessantly scream Tax The Rich seem emboldened in the way that only one who is confident that they will never be wealthy can be

Is perhaps the President not whom he appears to be? Is it possible that perhaps he is THE ACORNIAN CANDIDATE?...

Wait... the Olympics are over??? That explains why it's been so dull while I sit at the bottom of this hill. Can I get a lift back to LA?

Dear Germany, Canada now owns you. Starting tomorrow, your beer steins schnitzel and strudel can only be purchased with loonies and toonies.

As if I don't have enough to do during the day, now I need to make sure you all follow REAL Dennis Miller at @DennisDMZ... When do I nap?

Really likes Presidents Day, because it honors ALL presidents equally. Except YOU, James Polk. And don't pretend you don't know why...